A Letter to My Husband on Our 4 Year Anniversary

Dear Ricky,

I wish that I could say that the last four years have been complete marital bliss. Or that we have been in our honeymoon phase this entire time. Ha! Wouldn't that have been wonderful? I would love nothing more than to look back and know that I gave you the best version of myself for a straight 1460 days. You and I both know, though, that that is far from how it has gone. One thing I am sure of is that God's plan for me was to be your helper and to walk out my purpose by your side.

I have never quite understood the twists and turns that God allowed me to take on the journey to find you. It took far too long if you ask me. Or the lessons He made me learn along the way. He was definitely preparing me for something bigger than myself...I just had no clue what that entailed. You found me at a very obscure place, but saw something more than I did. You watched me climb out of the lowest place possible and never doubted I would overcome any of it. The pride you took in my triumphs helped propel me to a place where I was able to know God's love for me at a deeper level than I have ever known before. I hope I am able to show God’s love for you in the same way.

There have been times since we said "I do" that I know it would have been easier to throw in the towel or give up. It definitely would have been easier if you had found someone that didn't struggle in certain areas of life like I have. I would have loved to be perfect for you before we married at 30...but I have learned He always has a greater plan. To be born and grow up on opposite continents, endure childhood hurts and trials like we both did and then find each other could ONLY have been because of Him. I hope you know I have never doubted His plan for us and for our life together. For Him to have gone to such great lengths and detail to help us find each other, I will never take for granted. 

Much has stayed the same since we stood at the altar. You have been my best friend, love of my life, stepfather to my children and my strength when I had none left. But some things have changed. You made me a mother again and stood next to me when I didn't deserve it. You enjoy life and the journey much more than you used to. You made some things harder...which was probably His plan too…in order to make me stronger and bring me closer to Him. There is no better match for me in this world than the stubborn man that leaves his shoes in every room of the house! I am convinced that He designed me for you because there is no one on this planet that could equal your level of stubbornness except for me.

Thank you for walking through the good times and the difficult times with me. For being steadfast through it all and for showing humility when you know you have been wrong. Thank you for loving me and for loving my kids. Thank you for making me the mother of your children and for choosing me to be your helper. Thank you for seeking God and trusting me in certain areas that you would never trust anyone else with. I love you lover and would not trade our story for anyone else's. The last 4 years have not been complete bliss, but it has absolutely made me a better version of myself. It has laid the groundwork for the purpose God gave us to help others. I am thankful that we have the opportunity to give Him glory in our marriage – in our best times and in our worst. 

We have gained much ground, lover, and have climbed over many mountains and obstacles together. I love us, our story, where we have been and where we are going.

Love you - Smallyworld

Genesis 2:18

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."

 Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.